Children on waitlist for mentors: How you can help

BURNSVILLE, Minn. (FOX 9) - For just a couple of hours after school at the Hayden household in Burnsville, is something 16-year-old Quentin looks forward to every week.

"I've been in the program for a while, I went through so many families, so I never really had people that understood what I like and what I like to do. They introduced me to new things and I never really had that either," says Quentin. "My confidence went up a lot because I can act myself around them."

"Q" as he likes to be called, first met Emily and Andrew Hayden when he was 10 years old. His mom had a mentor growing up and realized the value on a variety of levels. As a single mom of Q and his two sisters, she found "Kids N Kinship" based in Dakota County, which connects kids with adult role models to spend at least one hour a week.

"Here’s literally what you need to be a mentor: you need to be a caring human, someone who is safe, and preferably someone who drives," says executive director Alicia Crudup.

Currently, Crudup has 35 young people on her waitlist, eager to find mentors. That number is up from about two dozen waiting for mentors in previous years. The list includes mostly boys, between 5 and 16 years old from single-parent households.

"Post-COVID, young people really getting back into this social space has really been a challenge in ways that we as adults can't fathom. This is all we've ever known is socializing, going to see people, meet people. Their whole lives, for many of them, were disrupted for nearly three years," says Crudup. "They are getting back into the rhythm. but finding themselves disconnected from their peers and their parents. When you're talking about a mentor, that gives you a bonus friend. They are not a teacher, not a parent, just an adult who is committed to you becoming a better human."

The Haydens say people too often overthink being a mentor. Being a perfect family or having extra time is not a requirement.

"You are not taking on a lot of extra load, you are bringing a kid into your daily life," says Andrew. "We eat dinner, we go kick a soccer ball, or throw a football, or go to a park, and just play games. We just exist."

Occasionally, they get to do extra special things through optional outings that otherwise no one here would be doing, from apple orchards to Vikings games. However, Q admits it’s the simple time around the dinner table he values the most when he can open up and share about his life – good or bad.

"I think it’s helped us prioritize intentionality," says Emily. "It’s easy to pack our schedules and pretty soon you are going through days, weeks, months, and like – ‘Wait a second – did we even connect during those times?’ So planning these consistent activities with Quentin, we value, you need a time, you need a place, to build relationships."

Technically, Q will age out of the program this year, but while becoming a member of this growing family, there’s a mutual expectation and hope he’ll have a seat at this table for years to come.

"It’s great to have a long friendship like this," says Q. "I consider them family and I can’t say that about a lot of people."

For more information about Kids n Kinship, click here.